Brisbane South Alcohol & Drug Counselling

                                    

Taking Control | Changing Lives

STOP ARGUING WITH AN ALCOHOLIC.
  • See a counsellor. Counselling is not just for the person with the problem. Family and friends also need support. Having someone to talk to who is a trained professional will make a big difference in your life.

ALCOHOLICS ARE GOOD FISHERMAN THEY LOVE DANGLING THEIR BAIT.

NEVER RISE TO THEIR BAIT.

It’s the morning and you wake up with a feeling of dread, another day of frustration and pain. You have a feeling of hopelessness, it’s another day of living with an alcoholic. Every day is the same, you hope and pray that today will be the day your beloved alcoholic decides to change and become sober. Night time seems like your only salvation finally being able to escape the madness under the doona.

Not so, night time brings about even more anxiety as you sit at home alone as your beloved alcoholic is out partying all night. You wonder whether they are dead or alive fearing the ‘knock at the door’ and a uniformed man informing you of your beloved’s death, fight, injury or crisis they have created.  Your body is always ‘on alert’ as you constantly ‘tip toe’ around the alcoholic for fear he/she might ‘snap’ and become verbally or physically aggressive.  

LET’S GET REAL

Alcoholics are not going to stop drinking until they ‘hit rock bottom.’ Until this happens no amount of coercing, yelling, threatening or bribing will stop the alcoholic from drinking. Promises will be made and broken. An alcoholic won’t change their behaviour until they choose it.

If you continue to live in this situation you need to change your behaviour to survive even though they're the ones who have the drinking problem

COMMON BEHAVIOURS OF ALCOHOLICS

  • Alcoholics have a tendency to lie a lot. You want to believe them hoping they have changed so you accept or make excuses for their behaviour. After a while you get sick of that so you confront their lies. They deny they're lying you continue to confront them which results in your beloved alcoholic turning it around so the focus is on you and you are the one lying. This will escalate into an argument which you are not going to win. The best thing to do is try not to buy into their argument.
  • Alcoholics are very angry and anxious people if they can keep everyone around them angry and upset it keeps the focus off the real issue ‘their drinking.’ Alcoholics are very good at ‘pushing people’s buttons.’ We start acting crazy and then start asking ourselves if in fact we are the crazy ones which is just what an alcoholic wants you to think. You will end up feeling so angry and frustrated and by this time the alcoholic has gone out for a drink somewhere and forgotten the argument. In the mean time you are home alone again angry and upset.
  • You know you are not the crazy one so avoid arguing. You cannot have a reasonable conversation with someone who is drunk so why bother.

STOP ARGUING WITH AN ALCOHOLIC.

  • Avoid having serious conversations when they've been drinking. It’s ok to say ‘let’s talk about this another time.’ Be strong and leave the room.
  • Stop an argument before it even begins and recognize the alcoholic is trying to make us upset and angry.
  • Reassure yourself you are not going crazy by keeping a journal especially after arguments. Just write down all the details of what happened. Then you can see clearly what it is your beloved alcoholic is saying over and over again to try and get you to fight with them.
  • Keep your body language calm and just leave the room or say you have to go out.
  • Remember an alcoholic needs to want change. You cannot make them change. You need to take care of yourself first.
  • See a counsellor. Counselling is not just for the person with the problem. Family and friends also need support. Having someone to talk to who is a trained professional will make a big difference in your life.